Chocolate Ecstasy

I need chocolate, honest to go god chocolate.

Dark.

Rich.

Melts in your mouth.

Chocolate that causes your tongue to have an orgasm.

Chocolate that dreams are made of.

Chocolate sent from the gods.

I want a smooth square to pass through my lips as I breath deeply and close my eyes.

I want the wave of bliss to take over my body and make it tingle.

I want to moan as it touches the back of my throat.

I need the excitement of the first bite.

The first taste.

The first moment of ecstasy.

Leave me……….panting.

Leave me……….breathless.

Leave me wanting MORE!

MORE!

MORE!

MORE!

But in all honesty, if someone doesn’t give me chocolate soon and possibly a pound of bacon this bitch is going to lose her shit. PMS has taken hold and it’s not letting go! Gimme, gimme, gimme, or someone is gonna get it, get it, get it.

Enlisted

I blog, duh, and when I do so I may or may not……um……..elaborate tell it like it is. I’m not saying I lie I hate liars , I’m saying I play up certain aspects to get my point across.

For example, I don’t really want to EAT my kids, but I do get frustrated enough that I wish there were another way to get out of the situation at hand. You have to admit that eating your children would be a super easy way out…..all you need is a bbq and some hot sauce.

I love blogging about parenting as much as a single woman loves shopping for designer handbags but I sometimes wish I had started blogging back when I was in the military. Oh the stories I could tell! Granted, most would be about odd and unusual sexual encounters and drunken port calls. I feel my ridiculous expressive use of words would give the common folk average man a humorous look into the military life.

With this being said, I cannot contain my enthusiasm about this new show on television about the ridiculous everyday goings ons of military life. In short, if I were a blogger back when I was an in-shape-bad-ass-chick in the military, I would have written the script for this show.

In short aside from all the hotness in uniform frolicking across my television screen I heart this show like a little boy loves his first Playboy magazine.

It’s The End Result That Counts

Ever since starting my job at my high school alma mater, I’ve wanted an opportunity to work with the students. I’ve wanted to pick their brains about their high school experiences and teach them about life after high school. I finally got the chance this week when I was asked to participate in Ethics Day with the senior class. My role as a volunteer was to bring an ethical dilemma I had encountered in my professional career to present to my group of seniors. The students would then discuss the dilemma with the group, pick apart the situation, and come up with an ethical solution.

I have to admit that, even with all the want and desire to interact with students, I was a bit nervous. Not about talking in front of them, but sharing my unique story. Most of these students come from very well off families and have opportunities many teenagers don’t have. Suddenly I found myself, a single mother raising two small children alone going in front of students looking for guidance, in an ethical dilemma. Fitting, seeing as how I was there to discuss ethics with them. Do I leave out key parts of my adulthood (single parenting, battles with addiction, dropping out of college twice) or do I take the risk and tell it like it is? The parents of these students are expecting the school to give them positive roll models so that their child has a tool box to use so that they can make good decisions. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to back out, simply because I didn’t want the temptation to lie.

Ultimately I  decided to participate while secretly hoping the students wouldn’t ask for specifics about my life. I prepared an ethical dilemma close to my heart having to do with sexual harassment, and presented it to the students. The exercise went very well. They picked my brain about the details. What kind of harassment? What does military protocol dictate in this kind of situation? What did I do when faced with the dilemma? A teenagers view of the world is so different from adults. It was amazing to hear their take on the situation. Their reactions were genuine, some actually showing physical reactions. I saw the pain and sympathy they felt for the victim of the sexual harassment. As adults we learn to hold so much in, sweep it under the rug, and ignore what it really going on.

Chin up. Chest out. Drive on.

As the discussion went on I could see that, even at 17 and 18 years old, it wasn’t the act of sexual harassment they were more worried about, it was the justice that would result. Would the dilemma end happily or would it end in blatant injustice? They pushed through, gaining more understanding than I thought they would. At the end of the discussion they were both pleased and disappointed with the outcome.

After seeing their reactions to everything we talked about I was ready for any “personal” questions they could throw at me….and they did. They asked me about what college I went to. Although it was difficult admitting to a bunch of college bound seniors that I couldn’t handle college directly out of high school, they understood. I explained to them that I burned myself out during high school and that it’s ok to not do every activity possible. I also told them that later, after I joined the military, I came to realize that my issue was not about being burned out or having too much on my plate, but the lack of structure many colleges have. You’re left to your own devices, and have to schedule your own time. Although I struggled with similar issues after leaving the military, I learned how to manage my time and structure my own life into something that helped me be a more productive member in society.

When I told them I finally finished college with two associates degrees at the ripe old age of 32 while taking care of two small children, and that I was hoping to go back this coming fall, they looked as if I just told them I ran a marathon backwards. I almost laughed, not at them, but at myself. For days I had been worried I wouldn’t be a good example of what kind of person the school puts out in the world. I was afraid to let them down, but their reactions told me differently. They saw me as someone who has overcome many obstacles, all the while doing some kick ass amazing things.

I went into Ethics Day hoping to teach the students something useful, but came out with them teaching me just as much. Every once in a while we need to be reminded that there are things we’ve done throughout our lives that have made a positive impact in the world. Maybe it’s because we had kids or because age has made us lazy, but the older we get the less we notice our own individual accomplishments. I never thought a group of high school students who teach me to remember and be proud of just how far I’ve come.

We don’t have to lie about what we’ve done with our lives because, just like the ethical dilemma I gave the students, it’s not about what you are going through, it’s about the end result. Be honest with yourself and others. Learn from what you are going through, and as hard as it may be, try not to make the same mistakes again. Last but not least, tell people your story. We can learn from each other. We NEED to learn from each other because we’re all in this together.

Too Much

Call it a sign or call it overeating but when I woke up this morning my pants didn’t fit. That little silver button that usually slid into its little home wasn’t going to slide. I tugged a little, and I sucked it in as much as I could, but that little button just didn’t want to do its job.

“Too much.” Those are the words that came out of my mouth.

I’m not sure what came over me after that perhaps a croissant or large chocolate bar , but suddenly a question Steve asked me a few months ago came rushing into my head. Sometime after our first date he asked me why I needed to be on social media. It was one of those rare times I can count them on two hands where I was actually speechless. I had no answer for him. I’m not sure what words I could get to come out of my mouth, but I’m pretty sure it all came down to one word, “Because”.

Because? Really? That’s all I could come up with after 7 years on social media? With that huge explanation our conversation moved on to other things, but the question stuck in my head. He would bring it up from time to time as he would go through the pictures on my phone. He would ask me why I would post this picture or that picture. I’d usually laugh and say, “Because it’s funny” or “Because I love you”. I may or may not have an addiction to his face, thus resulting in a post or two. He would just shake his head and smile as he continued to flip through the pictures. With every mention of social media that initial question of why I even needed to be on there, burned deeper into my head. Here it was, almost four months later, and I still couldn’t come up with a better answer than “because”.

As I tried that little silver button a third time it hit me. Too much. I had too much social media. I was overindulging in a world of faces, feet, and food. I was obsessed with putting myself out there to people. I wanted to show the world how vulnerable I was, how even when I was vulnerable I was strong. I was trying to prove a point, but what point was I trying to prove? Who was I trying to prove it to?

All the reasons I had before to be on social media, keeping tabs on people I didn’t trust and hiding from reality, weren’t around anymore. As my life changed drastically last year, so did my need for social media. I no longer needed to prove to thousands of people I was worth it, I needed to prove it to myself. Last September I learned to love myself. I learned that I was good enough, and thanks to Steve, I learned that I was worth the love of another person.

It took me 4 months, but this morning I could finally answer Steve’s question.

I don’t need it.

After adding up all the minutes during my day scrolling through social media sights I came to a startling reality. Yes, it was just 15 minutes here and there, but it was totaling about an hour a day. That’s 7 hours a week, 29 hours a month, 348 hours a year. That’s over 14 days a year! I have wasted 98 days of my life in the past 7 years on social media!?!?!

Much like my over indulgence in food, I have been overindulging in social media. At 6:30 this morning I hit delete on my Instagram and Twitter. Suddenly I felt as if my life fit better. What am I going to do with that extra hour a day now? Write? Draw? Play with my kids? Laugh with Steve? The possibilities are endless!

I’m not saying deleting your social media is the answer for everyone, but I am asking you to ask yourself why you are on there and what you would do with an extra hour every day. The answers might surprise you.

I’ve made the little silver button of my life slide into its little home, now if only I could get the little silver button on my pants to do the same. Perhaps I should spend my extra hour a day on the Elliptical.

Happy Holidays from The Vassiliou’s

Happy Holidays from the Vassiliou’s

Pheobe

I was fairly certain as an adult I would never write a holiday letter to friends and family. Once I became a mother I was positive I never would. Yet here you are, reading a holiday letter from me and the kids. Hell has officially frozen over.
Our year has been so exciting, and with so much change, I couldn’t resist sharing it with everyone in this dreaded fashion. The first half of our year was pretty much ops normal, living in Connecticut…wanting to get out. In June a position at KUA opened up and I applied. By the end of July we suddenly found ourselves scrambling to throw everything away pack up the house, get schools lined up, and searching for a place to live in New Hampshire. We only had three weeks to get everything done, resulting in a two week camping excursion, more grey hair for me, missing house hold items, and having to get rid of one cat. Perhaps the hardest part. Although I don’t mind not having to scoop as much poop.
Regardless of the mass chaos that ensued, we were settled in to the world’s smallest two bedroom condo our new house and well on our way to what have become our happiest days yet!
I want to thank everyone who helped, in every way possible, to make this dream a reality. Love and thanks especially to Seth Campbell, Gillian and Pam Frothingham, the one who chooses to remain anonymous, Joe McDaniel, Kim Simon, and my ever supportive parents. Without all of you, this move wouldn’t have been possible.
The Plainfield area had a rush of new families moving to the area this summer, resulting in a fresh and crazy wonderful community. We have found our little group of people who will tolerate us niche, and have adapted nicely aside from the occasional rocking in a corner.
May you all be blessed in the year to come and may happiness find you always.

Love and giggles,
Brandi, Theo, & Pheobe

peept