There is a lady who works at the college I attend who frequents the same bathroom I do. Every time we are in there at the same time I have to listen to her entire routine. It goes a little something like this:

• Wipes off toilet seat with toilet paper, flushes said toilet paper.
• Lays a seat cover over the toilet seat.
• Does her business, wipes.
• Grabs more toilet paper to flush the toilet, and flushes.
• Comes out of the stall, washes hands, opens door with paper towel,and leaves.

So there’s that lady, daily.

Then the other day I walked in only to witness a lady in the handicap stall laying paper towels down on the floor. She then took her shoes off and stood on the paper towels, took out another pair of shoes, and put them on. I know what you’re thinking, “Ok, so? She changed her shoes. Big deal.” Well then she reached down and picked up the paper towels with her HANDS. Because it’s obviously more important to keep your feet sanitary as opposed to your hands which frequent your face.

So where am I going with all this? Here are some bathroom facts for you. You read them, and then you tell me.

• There are up to 100,000 germs per square inch on a sink.
• There are about 100 germs per square on a toilet seat. Go ahead, take a lick.
• When you flush the toilet fecal matter will fly up to 6 feet away.
• Paper towels reduce germs by up to 29%.
• Hand dryers actually INCREASE the germs.
• Toilets use more water than any other household appliance.
• The average office desk has more germs than a toilet seat. Go ahead, enjoy your lunch at your desk today.
• All that fecal matter that became airborne when you flushed, landed on the floor.

So a BIG thank you goes out to the woman who flushes the toilet 10 million times while in the stall, and a note to the woman who picked up the paper towels off the floor with her hands, mmmmmmm, have fun picking out that piece of chicken from your teeth later.

Now if y’all will excuse me, I am going to go eat my breakfast on the toilet seat because my desk is nasty.