Too Much

Call it a sign or call it overeating but when I woke up this morning my pants didn’t fit. That little silver button that usually slid into its little home wasn’t going to slide. I tugged a little, and I sucked it in as much as I could, but that little button just didn’t want to do its job.

“Too much.” Those are the words that came out of my mouth.

I’m not sure what came over me after that perhaps a croissant or large chocolate bar , but suddenly a question Steve asked me a few months ago came rushing into my head. Sometime after our first date he asked me why I needed to be on social media. It was one of those rare times I can count them on two hands where I was actually speechless. I had no answer for him. I’m not sure what words I could get to come out of my mouth, but I’m pretty sure it all came down to one word, “Because”.

Because? Really? That’s all I could come up with after 7 years on social media? With that huge explanation our conversation moved on to other things, but the question stuck in my head. He would bring it up from time to time as he would go through the pictures on my phone. He would ask me why I would post this picture or that picture. I’d usually laugh and say, “Because it’s funny” or “Because I love you”. I may or may not have an addiction to his face, thus resulting in a post or two. He would just shake his head and smile as he continued to flip through the pictures. With every mention of social media that initial question of why I even needed to be on there, burned deeper into my head. Here it was, almost four months later, and I still couldn’t come up with a better answer than “because”.

As I tried that little silver button a third time it hit me. Too much. I had too much social media. I was overindulging in a world of faces, feet, and food. I was obsessed with putting myself out there to people. I wanted to show the world how vulnerable I was, how even when I was vulnerable I was strong. I was trying to prove a point, but what point was I trying to prove? Who was I trying to prove it to?

All the reasons I had before to be on social media, keeping tabs on people I didn’t trust and hiding from reality, weren’t around anymore. As my life changed drastically last year, so did my need for social media. I no longer needed to prove to thousands of people I was worth it, I needed to prove it to myself. Last September I learned to love myself. I learned that I was good enough, and thanks to Steve, I learned that I was worth the love of another person.

It took me 4 months, but this morning I could finally answer Steve’s question.

I don’t need it.

After adding up all the minutes during my day scrolling through social media sights I came to a startling reality. Yes, it was just 15 minutes here and there, but it was totaling about an hour a day. That’s 7 hours a week, 29 hours a month, 348 hours a year. That’s over 14 days a year! I have wasted 98 days of my life in the past 7 years on social media!?!?!

Much like my over indulgence in food, I have been overindulging in social media. At 6:30 this morning I hit delete on my Instagram and Twitter. Suddenly I felt as if my life fit better. What am I going to do with that extra hour a day now? Write? Draw? Play with my kids? Laugh with Steve? The possibilities are endless!

I’m not saying deleting your social media is the answer for everyone, but I am asking you to ask yourself why you are on there and what you would do with an extra hour every day. The answers might surprise you.

I’ve made the little silver button of my life slide into its little home, now if only I could get the little silver button on my pants to do the same. Perhaps I should spend my extra hour a day on the Elliptical.

21 thoughts on “Too Much

  1. Bravo! Yes, good for you. Many of the same reasons I quit FB a few years ago. I wish you the best with this, will miss seeing you on IG (I could break the FB habit, not ready to break that one quite yet!), and I do hope you’ll continue your blog. It was fun connecting with you. All the best to you, your kiddos, your continued happiness, and life in general–take good care!!! –Amy F.

    Like

  2. I love you. I love THIS. Holy crap….my (pants) dont fit either. I think I might actually do the same. Been thinking about if for a while….

    Like

  3. I appreciate your explanation and love your piece of mind. I will miss you on both. I’m a writer, trying to make a living full-time as one, and that’s why I’m on the medias that are social. Okay, not instagram, I have no explanation for that one.

    anyway…i’ll keep reading. Good for you

    Like

  4. I love you and because of crazy circumstances and social media I have a lifelong best friend. I can’t express how proud I am of you for all you have accomplished in the last year. Love you forever and a day. xoxo

    Like

  5. I love this, I have thought of doing it but I’m not ready, and I remember when my daughter the “need” of chatting at 3am during nighttime feedings and how easy it was on twitter, but who knows what will happened down the line. Right not it’s too scary for me, but with being on modified bedrest; what else am I to do with my time? LOL

    with that being said, do you care if this is shared on social media? (Ie: fb?)

    (@mrs07c)

    Like

  6. I will truely miss seeing your smile and talking to you. Wish you all the best and it warms my heart to know you re happy and have found what has so long been missing. ❤️ You

    Montie

    Like

  7. I’m going to miss you. I understand why but I’m going to miss the little laughs and the tagging of pics and just the fun nonsense we got up to. Be happy 🙂

    Like

  8. I won’t lie I was upset when I saw your IG gone (I was mamas2littlepixeys). It took me a bit to find your blog bc I couldn’t remember your old IG handle. After sleeping it off it came to me and I’m glad I found you. I get why you gave it up it just sucks bc I know I’m not the only fan of your photos and randomness and making being a mom feel normal when you yourself is unique. I just hope you don’t give up your blog bc it’s the only way I can stalk you now 😉 I hope all is well with you and your family and I hope you figure out what to do with that extra time 😀

    Like

    • Thank you so much for tracking me down. I know I deleted everything rather abruptly, but I never would have deleted it at all had I given warning. I will surely keep blogging so other mothers can read my story. Please spread the word that all is well.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s