I’m a woman, hence the mommy part of Mommy Undressed. And being a woman means that certain things ‘happen’ to me once a month and turn me into a raging hormonal mess. As we all know this fucking pain in the twat womanly phenomenon requires certain ‘materials’ that must be stocked at all times just incase those 28 days aren’t exactly 28 days.

I don’t know about you, but I usually pick mine up in the middle of grocery shopping, which is usually done with the 2 shorter inhabitants of my domicile in tow. So there I am, at least once a month, going through the grocery store picking up needed ‘materials’.

All of this is well and good, and natural, and normal, and blah blah blah. And its all something that is easily taken care of and relatively easy to hide from most people. Most people being everyone but those 2 shorter inhabitants I mentioned earlier. As many of you know those 2 said people have a slight obsession with spending quality time in the bathroom with me because I obviously don’t spend enough time with them outside of my normal bowl movements.

A few months back I’m in the bathroom, during that wonderful time of the month, getting ready ‘refresh’ my ‘materials’ when Theo burst through the door like Kramer!

It was then that he stopped dead in his tracks. I looked at him as he looked at my underwear in horror. I look down. Shit, this is not going to be good.

“Mommy! Blood!”

*crickets*

“Do you have a boo boo?”

“Um….yes. Mommy has a boo boo.”

He then turns to the cupboard under the sink and looks up as he opens the door.

“I’ll get you a band-aid.”

And sure enough, he pulls out a Helly Kitty band-aid and hands it to me. I sit there smiling at him forgetting all about the bloody mess in my underwear that started this whole conversation.

“It’s ok sweetie, mommy has special band aids for her boo boo. Big ones.”

“You means those?” and points to the box of ‘materials’ on the floor.

I nod in agreement as he turns to leave.

Fast forward to the other day. Mind you, this is the same day at the electric ear cleaner incident. I had brought in the bags from the car and the kids decided to help me unpack them and put the things away. Their little hands rummage through the bags, taking things out one at a time, and start putting things in almost the right spot. Theo gets to the bottom of a bag and looks at me.

“Mommy, do you want me to put your band aids in the bathroom for you?”

*chuckle* “Yes please.”

“Mommy? Do you need one?” and he proceeds to open the box to retrieve a ‘band aid’.

“No sweetie, I’m ok but thanks.”

20 minutes later I snuck into the bathroom to get a new band-aid. Shhhhhh;)