As parents we want our kids to dream of wonderment and adventures. We want them to have dreams they are so excited for, they want to act them out all day in the back yard. This is honestly how I thought parenting would be. When I was pregnant I dreamed of waking up with my children and listening to them tell me all about the amazing things that danced through their heads while they were asleep. I knew there would be nightmares, and I was prepared for that as well. Nightmares are soothed with kisses and a quick snuggle.
Ah, the merriment of a new parent’s dreams; also known as: complete bull shit. This is not how it happens folks.
At least not in my house. My children are special, all the way down to the dreams they have. This, my friends, is how my kids dream.
“Mommy, last night I had a dream.”
“Oh yeah, what happened in your dream?”
“We had a camper and we went to the zoo. At the zoo there were zombie elephants, and they were eating people’s brains,” She says with a huge smile.
We obviously watch too much TV. “Because the people’s brains were peanuts.” Maybe I should watch what I say in front of my kids. “When they tried to eat our brains we ran back to the camper and drove home. When we got home there were zombie elephants there too. So, we got back into the camper and drove to daddy’s house.” All the way on the other side of the country, 3000 miles away. “There were NO zombie elephants there, and then I woke up like *gasp*!!!”
“Wow, Pheobe! That is quite a dream!”
“Oh yeah, and some of the elephants had long hair that was gray. Girl and boy elephants. No, no, no, no ,no….It was brown, and only the girl elephants had long brown hair.”
“Not the boy elephants?”
“Mommy, they’re boys, so no.”
Obviously not the boy elephants. What was I thinking?
And so go the dreams of my daughter.
“Last night I had a dream too! I was a knight fighting bad knights.”
So far, we’re off to a good start. “I shot them with my cannon, and they flew up to the sky.” Maybe not as good as I thought.
“They flew up to the sky?”
Why do I encourage more detail?
“Yes, because when I shot them with y cannon they turned into butterflies!”
Leaning back to a good start. “And then I shot the butterflies!” WTF kid?
“Um, why would you shoot the butterflies?”
Again with the encouraging of the details.
“Mommy, because they were bad knight butterflies.”
Stupid question mom.
I think I’m doing parenting wrong….still.