Heathens and Relationships

I love that Steve is such an independent person. He doesn’t need me to coddle him, or do things for him. He is very much a “I’ll do what I want, and I’ll do it on my own, thank you very much” kind of person. Also known as stubborn. I’m typically ok it, and let him do his thing, but the other day…well…I’m not ok with what he did. It broke my heart and caused me rivers of tears behind the closed bathroom door. I sat there with my pants around my ankles in disbelief. What he did was something I always thought happened in everyone else’s house, never mine. The horror of the situation is almost too much to handle, and has left me questioning the future of our relationship. I present to you, exhibit A:


For the past two years, Steve has been hiding the fact that he is a toilet paper heathen from me. His true self has reared it’s ugly head. This I cannot let slide. I will have to address this immediately so as to eliminate the likelihood of it happening again. Wish me luck.

Bathroom Battle – Over vs Under, You Decide

The battle of who hangs their toilet paper correctly has raged on longer than the battle between Republicans and Democrats. Does it go over the top? Obviously the correct answer. Does it go underneath? Obviously a practice of heathens. I say, for sanitary reasons, it hangs over the top. That way you’re not fumbling around the entire roll with you grubby finger tips, trying to find the bitter end. No one wants grubby finger tips on the toilet paper, which is essentially like fumbling with their crotch.

I’ve heard the argument from the heathens under people about the cat or dog can unravel the roll faster if it’s on top. Seriously? What in the hell is your cat or dog doing in the bathroom? If they are in their just to spite you, it’s possible you should reevaluate your pet parenting techniques because Fido might be mad at you.

So, I want to know your opinion especially since I keep picking on my friends about their heathen ways. Which way is the right way? Before you answer, I will leave you with the original patent for toilet paper yes, it has a patent showing the proper way to hang your anal tissue.