Mommy Undressed

Tag: kids

  • Cheese Mustache and the World of Make Believe

    —

    by

    Brandi
    in

    A note from last week. “Being a girl is difficult. Being a girl in a boy dominated grade school is down right maddening at times. Despite being part of the minority, Pheobe continues to push forward in her world of unicorns and rainbows. Today she will subject “Cheese Mustache” and her brother to this glittery…

  • We May Never Be Heard From Again

    —

    by

    Brandi
    in

    My sister is getting married this weekend, and has asked the kids to be in her wedding. Because the wedding is in Uniontown, PA, we are splitting up the drive and leaving 2 days beforehand. This means I have to take the kids out of school early. This also means another bus note. Each one…

  • Armed Apocalypse Patrols

    —

    by

    Brandi
    in

    “As the days wear on, the troops grow more and more restless. Rumors from outside the school walls spark hope of the afterschool program re-starting next week. This small spark of hope is, at least, something to hold on to. Until we get certified proof that the program will resume, Theo will continue armed apocalypse…

  • The Apocalypse and Necessity

    —

    by

    Brandi
    in

    “Day 2 of the after school apocalypse and the tribe is holding strong with multiple offers for child watching, the youngest members of the tribe have decided to go with necessity…the friend with the golf cart and pool. It’s all about priorities during these trying times. Therefore Theo will be taking the bus home with…

  • Untimely Demise

    —

    by

    Brandi
    in

    I’ve become well know at my children’s school because of the bus notes I send with them from time time. Here is today’s: “Due to the untimely demised of the after school program, and my inability to obtain alternate childcare, I have absolutely no idea what to do with my children after school. Therefore Pheobe…

  • Back to School and Shitty Shoes

    —

    by

    Brandi
    in

    I’m not sure what it is about new shoes that gets kids so excited. You buy them clothes and they shrug it off as they mumble something about “more new clothes, yuck.” You buy them new shoes and it’s like you just brought home rocket boosters. Coolest thing EVER!!! You could have the most tired…

  • That Is Definitely NOT A Garden Shed!

    That Is Definitely NOT A Garden Shed!

    —

    by

    Brandi
    in

    The morning commute in my car is never short of interesting. Especially when it so accurately details the different ways my kids’ brains work. Theo: Look!!! Pheobe: *GASP* A garden shed!!! Theo: No, it’s a hawk! Look! Pheobe: Yeah…no. I’m pretty sure it’s a garden shed. It’s a little house…in a garden…soooo…it’s a garden shed.…

  • No Escalator? No good.

    No Escalator? No good.

    —

    by

    Brandi
    in

    This summer my kids became “world” travelers. Jetsetting across the United States from the East Coast to the West, they quickly adapted to air travel. People bringing them snacks and drinks as they watched movies with their trays down and seats back, life in the sky was good. On the ground they enjoyed the mall-like…

  • Driving Into The New England Stereotype

    Driving Into The New England Stereotype

    —

    by

    Brandi
    in

    I did it. I hate to admit it, but I did it. I’ve joined the club of soccer moms, obsessed with their kid’s athletic abilities. The moms who delay the drop off/pick up process every day at school. I’ve become a Birkenstock wearing, earth loving, hippie. Someone who covers every last inch of their bumper…

  • Cock Swabs and Steamy Penis Creatures

    —

    by

    Brandi
    in

    I thought raising a penis person would be easy. I mean seriously, what’s there to know? Yes, there’s that whole spontaneous erection thing and wet dreams, but I didn’t think it would be much more than that. Now men, before you get your boxers in a bunch, I want to start off by saying women…