Author: Brandi
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I Like To Confuse My Children
Today’s bus note, proof of my bad parenting.
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Three Mother F*#king Days
Three Days. Three mother fucking days is all you get for bereavement time. It doesn’t matter who died, a parent, a spouse, or (heaven forbid) a child; all you get is three days. In three days you are supposed to grasp the fact that an immediate family member has passed away, organize their funeral/wake/memorial service/celebration…
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Things You Want To Say To Your Kids, But Can’t
We’ve all been there. That moment where we teeter on the brink of saying the worst thing ever something inappropriate to our children. We get lost in the heat of the moment. Tight lipped, we inhale sharply through our nose as we prepare to let loose on our unsuspecting, yet deserving, child. Suddenly, at the…
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Grey hair and Perky Boobs
My mother is beautiful, inside and out. She has amazing skin, which is unbelievably soft, and only three grey hairs. She was truly blessed in the “aging gracefully” category of life. When she turned 60 she got her first hair. It was almost like she gave up and told Mother Nature, “Alright, fine. Go ahead…
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Bathroom Battle – Over vs Under, You Decide
The battle of who hangs their toilet paper correctly has raged on longer than the battle between Republicans and Democrats. Does it go over the top? Obviously the correct answer. Does it go underneath? Obviously a practice of heathens. I say, for sanitary reasons, it hangs over the top. That way you’re not fumbling around the entire roll…
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The Worst Mommy EVER!!!
I’ve concluded that I am the worst parent ever…as in EVER! My kids may or may not have told me this a time or two. I try not to compare myself to other parents, and I certainly try not to compare my kids to other kids. However, living in the “well to do” area that…