Mommy Undressed

Category: Sexy Time…Or Not

  • We’re Day Sex People

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    Brandi
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    My husband and I love bedtime. I’m not just talking about when the kids go to bed, although that bedtime is pretty kick ass I’m talking about when WE go to bed. That time when we take off all our clothes, smile at each other from across the bed, slide between the cool sheets, press…

  • Touch Me And You Die

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    Brandi
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    Most people wouldn’t look at me and say, “Wow, you’re fat.” Actually, most people wouldn’t look at people in general and say that. Unless, of course, the person saying it is a complete asshole with no compassion or verbal filter. I was casually dating a guy a few years ago and he creatively told me…

  • Valentine’s Day Bull Shit

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    Brandi
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    Ok, so you hate Valentine’s Day…we get it. Someone pissed in your Cheerios and now you’re all kinds of upset. It sucks to be you, truly. All you have done for the past week is bitch and complain about how single you are, how you won’t get any presents, how stupid the cards are, and…

  • OES: Old Egg Syndrome

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    Brandi
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    I need to explain something to all of you. It’s something I feel goes unnoticed on a daily basis by the majority of people, but it’s plaguing more than most people realize. I’ve only just come to terms with the fact that I myself am struggling with it on a daily basis. Because it is…

  • Oysters, Fortresses, And Love

    Oysters, Fortresses, And Love

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    Brandi
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    I met a man in my early twenties while shopping at LL Bean. He was, simply put, gorgeous. He had eyes that could reach way down inside of you, and lips you couldn’t help but want to kiss. To my surprise, he asked me for my phone number. A week later we had our first…

  • The Vagina Ledge

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    Brandi
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    I’d like to have a little discussion about my vagina. No, you perverts, not that kind of discussion. She doesn’t do parlor tricks like shooting ping pong balls across the room or lip sink to popular tunes from the 80’s, so don’t get yourselves too worked up from the excitement.  My vagina and I have…

  • Surprise! Vagina!

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    Brandi
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    Come one, come all! You are cordially invited to the annual viewing of: SURPRISE! VAGINA! Join local doctors and medical interns as they gather around my vagina and discuss labia lengths, cervical displasea, HVP, the effects child birth has on the average American vagina, and so much MORE! The cold hard plastic duck lips will…

  • I Missed Your Taste On My Lips

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    Brandi
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    I  missed your taste on my lips. The way you sweetly touched my tongue. Your roughness on my finger tips makes me tingle as I close my eyes. I can feel you go through me. Flowing. Moving. Your warmth fills me. My mouth is on fire as I take you in again. More. More. Give me…

  • The Motherhood Is An Evil Bitch

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    Brandi
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    I don’t take good care of myself. I mean I shower, brush my teeth, keep my hemroids at bay, and wear clean clothing…so don’t start looking at me cross eyed and be thankful the internet doesn’t have a “smell” option. I don’t stink and I can’t imagine kissing me is a horrible experience I keep my halotosis at…

  • Chocolate Ecstasy

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    Brandi
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    I need chocolate, honest to go god chocolate. Dark. Rich. Melts in your mouth. Chocolate that causes your tongue to have an orgasm. Chocolate that dreams are made of. Chocolate sent from the gods. I want a smooth square to pass through my lips as I breath deeply and close my eyes. I want the…