Mommy Undressed

Category: Uncategorized

  • Santa: Never Stop Believing, a true story.

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    Brandi
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    Everyone knows the story of Santa Claus. How could we not? Every year that jolly old elf pops up on store shelves shorty before Halloween, and watches over us with a tinkling eye until he comes barreling down our chimneys to eat  eat cookies and leave presents behind. As kids our parents threatened us with gifts of…

  • Towanda! And other things I yell while shaving.

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    Brandi
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    I have unwanted body hair. Surprising, I know. It grows in odd places, and at odd lengths. It grows in pairs, and threes, and fours. I even think I have at least a half dozen spurting from a mole on my face. My pubic hair decided to elope with my thigh hair, as my calf…

  • Snowboarding Is For Pussies

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    Brandi
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  • Surprise! Vagina!

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    Brandi
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    Come one, come all! You are cordially invited to the annual viewing of: SURPRISE! VAGINA! Join local doctors and medical interns as they gather around my vagina and discuss labia lengths, cervical displasea, HVP, the effects child birth has on the average American vagina, and so much MORE! The cold hard plastic duck lips will…

  • Breasts-Truth From Lies

    Breasts-Truth From Lies

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    Brandi
    in

    Breasts, tatas, pillows, speed bumps, fun bags,mammories, gazongas, melons, titties, chest puppies, chesticles, mosquito bites, rib bumpers, bazongas, udders, air bags, bosom, boulders, hooters, and jugs. No matter what you call them, we all have them. My breasts. I love them…or I did love them. It’s really a rather difficult thing to deal with, breasts.…

  • Compliments-Pass It On

    Compliments-Pass It On

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    Brandi
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    I have a rule in life, compliment sincerely and compliment often. We live in a fast paced world that never looks up. Everyone is either too busy or has their nose in some sort of electronic device. We have become self absorbed; distracted by online videos and social media. As we our eyes fixate on the beautiful…

  • Wordless Wednesday

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    Brandi
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  • Silver Spoons and Summer People

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    Brandi
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    This is actually a re-post of a guest post I did last year for one of my favorite fellow bloggers, Daddy Runs A Lot. With summer quickly approaching us it seemed fitting to put it back out there. The town where I come from isn’t for everyone. It’s the coast of Maine but it’s not…

  • Hell Tacos

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    Brandi
    in ,

    I can’t tell you why the donor ever decided to get double box springs for the Queen sized bed he purchased back in the summer of 2006. It was a Queen sized bed. A Queen. Not a King. Not a California King. A Queen. We weren’t sleeping in some vast luxury bed needing the latest…

  • A Little Preview of What’s to Come

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    Brandi
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    It’s been a while since I last blogged. A long while. It’s not for not having anything to blog about. There are plenty of things to blog about when you’re a parent. I have an endless library of stories to tell people filed away in my brain library. At any given time I can rattle…