Author: Brandi
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Dear Santa……
Dear Santa, I know its been a while since I wrote you a Christmas wish list, but I figured that because its been so long you’re more likely to give me at least one thing off my list….please??? If I can get just one of these I promise to sing you ‘Santa Baby’ by the…
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My New Resume
Well, I’m doing it again, I’m graduating from college. Now don’t get too excited and start congratulating me for being so awesome doing this whole college thing while training my minions to take over a small country preferably Luxemburgm so I have easy access to larger countries such as France. It’s another Associates degree for…
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First Kiss
I don’t believe anyone who tells me that thier first kiss ever was magical or first time having sex for that matter. I just don’t think it exsists much like men who go Jarod. So if you tell me you had the perfect ‘first kiss’ I’m going to assume you are also a chronic lier.…
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Dear Minions…..
Dear Minions, I feel as if I need to write you this letter so that you will be able to show it to your therapist when you’re older. As you well have learned, because by the time you read this you’ll be grown thank fucking God, everyone has their quirks and mommy has many of…
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I Will Not Be THAT Mom
Holy cow! I forgot how much spinning fucking sucks hurts. After an hour of jumping in and out of the saddle and cranking up the resistance…..I wanna stab someone my legs feel like flabby jello molds. To make matters worse, it was an hour of the instructor reminding me that I hadn’t been there in…
Mommy Undressed 