Mommy Undressed

Category: Mom Fails

  • This 9 to 5 Shit is for the Birds!

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    Brandi
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    I really thought having a 9 to 5 was going to be a lot different. I thought that finally I would be able to get my feet back on the ground and start being that mom my kids deserve. I thought that magically everything would fall into place. Boy was I wrong! (You have to…

  • Choking On Makeshift Fairy Dust and Dressed in Pretty Princess Costumes

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    Brandi
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    It’s hard to believe that my little house, affectionately called The Redneck Palace, is slowly transitioning form a house of snakes and snails and puppy dog tails to sugar and spice and everything nice. For the past 5 years Theo has, essentially, been the man of the house. This has meant match box cars, dinosaurs,…

  • I Will Not Be THAT Mom

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    Brandi
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    Holy cow! I forgot how much spinning fucking sucks hurts. After an hour of jumping in and out of the saddle and cranking up the resistance…..I wanna stab someone my legs feel like flabby jello molds. To make matters worse, it was an hour of the instructor reminding me that I hadn’t been there in…

  • Mommy! You Shot Me In The Face!

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    Brandi
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    I understand that I am an unconventional mom. I encourage the minions to get dirty and play in the mud. Shit, I call them minions! I let them figure out ’cause and affect’ on their own. We all participate in pants off Friday, underwear still on. We have random dance parties and the occasional popcorn…

  • A Brunch With Demons

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    Brandi
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    Today BF and I went to a Tweet-up in Killingworth, CT for brunch. The house was set back from the main road, off a typical New England dirt road, nestled in the plush foliage of summer. The yard, decorated with a simple stone path, was neatly cut and speckled with lawn chairs. All the tweeps…

  • Mute Button

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    Brandi
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    I love my minions, I really really do. There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for them or a day that goes by where I don’t feel absolutely blessed to have them in my life. They are my life, and they make me smile every day. Sometimes I look at them and see how perfect they are.…

  • Band Aids and Preschoolers

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    Brandi
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    I’m a woman, hence the mommy part of Mommy Undressed. And being a woman means that certain things ‘happen’ to me once a month and turn me into a raging hormonal mess. As we all know this fucking pain in the twat womanly phenomenon requires certain ‘materials’ that must be stocked at all times just incase…

  • Electric Ear Cleaners: Mom Fail

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    Brandi
    in

    I have vibrators. Lots of them. I like them. There, I said it and now you know. I have a bit of a collection, most of which I don’t use. Impulse buys don’t always turn out the way you hope. They add spice to the bedroom as well as spice to alone time. Instead of…