Mommy Undressed

Category: Uncategorized

  • This Is Not My Underwear

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    Brandi
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    I am not a morning person. I get up around 5:30 during the week and I hate it. I don’t pop out of bed singing and greeting pretty little blue birds. Squirells don’t pounce on my bed with excitement to say good morning. In fact I’m pretty sure all woodland creatures hear my alarm go…

  • I Have Balls In My Penis and Other Anatomy Wonders

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    Brandi
    in

    I remember panicking when the doctors at the hospital told me I could bring my brand new bouncing baby boy home. I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay in the hospital forever where nurses and doctors could monitor what I was doing and tell me I was doing everything right. Despite all the research…

  • Fuck It

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    Brandi
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    Fuck it. A term I need to remember to use on a daily basis. The donor used to call me and probably still does the Connecticut Killjoy. He said I sucked the fun out of everything because I was too serious. And there are times but don’t tell him that I agree. I often find…

  • Once Upon a Cup of Coffee…..

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    Brandi
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    Once upon a time there was a dishevled single mother beautiful princess who lived alone with her two evil minions children in an old gas station a beautiful castle. She often visited a magical land called Twitter where she would chat with a nocshift worker handsome prince. The prince and princess would talk about the miserable…

  • From Internet Cafes to Smart Phones

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    Brandi
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    When I was a senior in high school the internet was just beginning to take off. Even at my little boarding school in New Hampshire we were only allocated 30 minutes a day on the overloaded dial up. We would wait anxiously as we watched the little bar on the computer screen fill up. I…

  • Little Golden Arches

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    Brandi
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    Penis envy. It’s something us women know all to well. You men have it so easy with the exception of random hard ons being able to stand up and pee. You can pretty much whip it out and pee where ever you damn well please. From trees, to the backs of buildings, to side alleys.…

  • This 9 to 5 Shit is for the Birds!

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    Brandi
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    I really thought having a 9 to 5 was going to be a lot different. I thought that finally I would be able to get my feet back on the ground and start being that mom my kids deserve. I thought that magically everything would fall into place. Boy was I wrong! (You have to…

  • The Truth Is……

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    Brandi
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    The truth is, I don’t like folding all this laundry. The truth is, I don’t like cleaning my house to  someone else’s ‘standards’. The truth is, I don’t like doing the dishes after every meal. The truth is, I hate owning things that are brand new. The truth is, I miss how I was 6…

  • Daddy Runs a Lot……Naked?

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    Brandi
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    I’ve never had someone come over here to Mommy Undressed and guest post…so I’m super excited that The Adventures of Daddy Runs a Lot (aka John or @daddyrunsalot ) is popping my cherry! *giggle* I absolutely love his style of writing and always enjoys what he has to say over here on my modest blog. Sad to…

  • I Admit It….I just Don’t Get It

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    Brandi
    in

    I understand that I’m unique I get that. And I understand that I don’t always ‘get’ what the average American gets. I don’t understand so many of the fads, and I sure as hell don’t understand the big whoop-to-do about most some of the artists. I’ve had it over with a couple of girlfriends about…