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I’m a mom. And as most moms know, its a crazy life we live. Married, in a relationship, or single….our ‘job’ is a crazy one. My relationship is…complicated at best. He works midnights, I work days. Our paths cross maybe an hour a day. And up until recently we were basically living two separate lives…

I admit the my parenting techniques can be a bit…..unusual. But that’s ok with me, and it seems to be working for my kids. Most parents aren’t perfect, we all know this. We all slip up every now and then and end up getting caught by our kids in some sort of ‘activity’ or have certain items,…

Yet another year is coming to an end. I wish I could sit here and reflect back with deep insight on everything that has happened and everything I want to accomplish next year…but as you all know, that’s not really my cup of tea unless I’ve just been heart broken and left for dead. Instead…

Dear Santa, I know its been a while since I wrote you a Christmas wish list, but I figured that because its been so long you’re more likely to give me at least one thing off my list….please??? If I can get just one of these I promise to sing you ‘Santa Baby’  by the…

Well, I’m doing it again, I’m graduating from college. Now don’t get too excited and start congratulating me for being so awesome doing this whole college thing while training my minions to take over a small country preferably Luxemburgm so I have easy access to larger countries such as France. It’s another Associates degree for…

Dear Minions, I feel as if I need to write you this letter so that you will be able to show it to your therapist when you’re older. As you well have learned, because by the time you read this you’ll be grown thank fucking God, everyone has their quirks and mommy has many of…

This past Sunday marked my 5 year anniversary of being a mommy was my little man’s 5th birthday. It’s hard to believe that I somehow managed to keep this kid alive for 5 years! especially after I shot him in the face the other day. The poor little guy has been dragged through so much…

It’s official, today the donor and I got divorced…finally. It’s only been over a year. I think its pretty safe to say that by this point the divorce was amicable. We danced a little jig on our way out of the courtroom. It’s hard to believe that I have just become an actual ‘divorce’. With legal…

You may or may not know this but the east coast just got spanked by a bitch named Irene. She tore through coastal town after coastal town, and quite a few not so coastal towns, ensuring that half a million women were unable to blow dry their hair this morning. So yes, there are now…

My birthday is in two days. Yes, you may cheer. I did. And now I suddenly find myself single just in time to be able to get nothing from any sort of significant other. This may be a good thing. I hate having present expectations and then being disappointed. This series of unfortunate events made me…